going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
