You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
