I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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