You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
