You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Come see our sink grown plant.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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