shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
