This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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