Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
