he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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