At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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