I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Randomize
