Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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