I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
