I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
