Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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