It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
no you cant smoke seaweed
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
