Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
