With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
