i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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