I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
