I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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