Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
