i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
