He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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