I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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