so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Randomize
