dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
