I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
