he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I could fuck to npr.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
