i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
