I hope mine doesn't look like that
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
