i just had sex bonerless
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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