it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Vodka?
Forever.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
