sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
