Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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