It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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