I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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