The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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