I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
