wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Randomize
