Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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