Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
