No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
