Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
