So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
