he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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