I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
