I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
