But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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