No, drunk sperm still make babies.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
