He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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